The Truth and The Greedy

It was a freedom of my choice, it was something real and it was foreseeable to be short-lived but I still went for it because Hey its my choice, and I want to be less ignorant bout it in the future. My take away is whatever happened between me and him can only be described into two words Truth & Greedy.

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(Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these photos. please note that all images and copyrights belong to their original owners. no copyright infringement intended)

Truth is, I am happy seeing everyone in my network regardless if its sensual or personal meet up. It gives me that satisfaction of having the freedom still to choose between this and that, and that insatiable curiosity of “what does it feels like” gets that relief feeling every time a meet up happens. Don't you think you have that same feeling too when you were in grade school and can't wait to be an adult so you can do everything that you want? Would you give up the right to decide? If yes, might as well be a plant and start living in someone else's backyard and be fertilized by dog poop. 

Truth is, he thought that I can be a pet as long as he'll give me basic things, but the thing is, I'm larger than he can ever imagine and can't seem to get his grasp on to the point that it frustrates him to the core. Now, that's a problem!

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(Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these photos. please note that all images and copyrights belong to their original owners. no copyright infringement intended)

Greedy for attention that's me, Greedy for power that's him, no matter how you put it, we're just down right shitty greedy. I like the attention, but not too much of it, because everything sobra is bad for your health. So, (I) try to tone it down as much as possible by telling him how I felt. (How I really felt, not once, not twice, but multiple times) and in the event of opening up to him, I know what I felt was something real because tears pour in whenever I speak to my heart. You know that it takes a lot of guts to be honest with someone you're afraid to lose and I was so relief when he said, He loves me in everything I am and accepts me for everything who I were but later on at the back of my mind it hit me, how can someone with lack of experience and maturity can handle this amount of truth? ​was it just a lie? Or was it just something genuine at that moment?

He’s a Greedy for love. As a guy whom his whole life's priority is to be loved and be loved back he went over the boundaries. He has this made-up perfect love story in his mind with the only thing missing is that character that will play the role of the perfect boyfriend whose power is to hold everything together in its place whenever, wherever. Duh, I can’t even hold my pee when I’m going to the washroom, have so much stuff on my plate and I can only do so little. ​

I've explained it perfectly to him a couple of times and he just put it aside because he has this selective hearing skill and still living in a winter wonderland. I was already in the process of letting go of my vices, addiction and lovers, slowly and easily (because it’s really hard to let go), I was rooting to be a better man and then he saw my convos and went berserk spilling my beans everywhere. Great job! Coloma! You deserve to be at the Grammys.

(Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these photos. please note that all images and copyrights belong to their original owners. no copyright infringement intended)

I got judged right here and there. Deja Vu, anyone? Funny is I felt he’s in twilight playing Maricel Soriano in Zsa-Zsa Padilla movie. I’m just waiting for him to get a knife and shout at me wag moko na KC! KC! then next is he'll stab me right through my belly the typical schizophrenic attack.  

But kidding aside, there are these questions came pouring because of this experience. If someone gave you a shard of truth, do you use it to slit their neck at their darkest hour? Or do you use it to judge yourself on his darkest hour? Was I at fault when I already set expectations not once, not twice, bout my history? Do I deserve to be labeled as the monster if all I did was tell the truth and he said that he love me for what I am? It is such a nuisance thinking all of this to myself. If you were in my shoes what will you do/think?